Thursday, January 30, 2014
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Toby is very frustrated with Faust's behavior.
"What the hell's wtih you? We're doing better than ever. Why would you want to fuck that up?"
"You think all the words and the music are just entertainment? You think this is all for fun? You think this is just a fucking game?"
Faust has become very passionate. He's gaining in energy and luminosity as he speaks.
"Every night we ask the devil to come. Every night we spit on God and the angels. We spit on goodness and decency. We piss on the way of life of most of the people around us including our own families. That's not about entertainment brother. I'm not here to entertain anybody. I want to rip the veil from their eyes. Make 'em look. Shove the truth in their face. I want the kids to love Satan. Love death. Love destruction. It's no game to me.
Toby has also become very animated.
"You keep going like this, you'll bring down the law on all of us. We barely escaped that shit in Poland. Naked, crucified people on stage. Bloody goat's heads. Burning the cross and raping nuns. It ain't worth it man. I done my time already. I don't wanna go back."
"You think I'm afraid of the authorities? The powers that be? They aren't worth shit to me. One of my biggest regrets is how I pussied out back in Kracow and let them run me out of town without a fight. Those bastards don't care about anything except keeping the peace in their corrupt order. I want souls. I want believers. Converts. I need followers for the great work of destruction."
"Jesus. I thought you were just trying to get publicity. I thought you were just being a clown to sell tickets. I didn't realize you were a fucking maniac."
"Come on Toby. Lay off. Just let him blow off steam."
"Hey. Don't apologize for me Duncan. I meant what I said."
"Look, Faust, you can do what you want. Nobody's trying to stop you. Just think about what you're doing. Don't drag other people down with your wild ideas."
"Down? I'm trying to take you on the ride of your life man. Higher than you've ever been. Higher than you could ever get without me. You look up because you WANT to be exalted. I look up because I am exalted."
"Are you off on that Nietzsche bullshit again? I'm out of here man."
"Don't pussy out on me dude. Man up. Get ready for the fight. Destruction is why I'm here on earth,. To destroy what is ready to fall. To show no mercy to the weak. Pity preserves what is ripe for decay."
Faust begins to laugh. Now he is just enjoying being a mocker.
"Man, you gotta take some time and calm down. We have a show to do tonight. I hope you can get it together before then."
Duncan follows Toby out of the room. Faust sneers after them and laughs again.
"Back in Kracow, I was almost there, but I panicked. I let them scare me. I backed down. I got worried because they were comparing me to the Scandanavian heavy metal killers and church burners. I should have been flattered. Now it's time to go all G.G. Allin on them and show them I mean business."
Susan isn't able to tell if Faust is just ranting to let off steam or just as a kind of joke or because he really is becoming seriously imbalanced. He doesn't talk to her very much anymore and when he does, he often goes off just like now. But maybe he really is finding his great mission in life. Maybe this really is his attempt to break his chains and get free. In that case, maybe she can learn from him. Maybe she can free herself from the past. The past is like a tomb sometimes.
She feels like she's already buried with her dead mother and with the ghost of her father that used to be able to love. Now, he's just a ranting maniac who makes Faust seem completely sane. He keeps talking about his angry God and the end times and the coming Apocalypse. He says that she has become a demon child who is helping Satan lead others away from God. He asks everyone to pray for her but she believes that he really means that he wants everyone to look at her as crazy. He really just wants her to disappear. He's angry at the sinners who are corrupting children and destroying morality. He things they're bringing down the country. Bringing the wrath of God down on everyone. How long can you hope for the rapture before you become a crazy old coot who starts trying to calculate the day and time of Armageddon? At least Faust's passion is for freedom. He has some kind of positive, earthly aim. That's something anyway. And besides, she knows that Faust can love. He loves her. He loves her just as much as she loves him. She doesn't doubt. She won't doubt.
Faust and Susan are lying in bed cuddling.
Susan announces that she has to get up. Her rollover, flip off the bed in one motion delights him. He laughs.
“Like a cat.”
His hand cups her ass cheek.
“Let me pet you baby.”
She purrs. They both laugh. It’s a little chilly so she pulls on a robe.
“I’ll be right back.”
While she is gone from the room, Faust takes a deep, contented breath and lies back.
Oh no. Not the voices again.
“Shut up! I don’t care what you think.”
He hears a flush.
“What did you say baby?”
“Nothing. Can you get me a glass of water? And a couple of Advil?”
He lies still hoping the voices will stop. They don’t.
He lies still hoping the voices will stop. They don’t.
“You have a headache baby?”
“Yeah. Just a little…nothing serious.” He swallows the tablets.
Susan can see that his mood has changed.
“Are you OK?”
Faust changes the subject.
“I wish we could get out of here for a little while.”
“Why don’t we?”
“The tour. I just don’t have much time. And we booked a couple of extra dates because things are going great. We need to cash in while we can.”
She strips off the robe she had put on and cuddles up to him in bed. The voices keep talking to him but her naked body causes a natural reaction. He kisses her neck and caresses her breasts and maneuvers into position to slip his cock inside her. No matter how tortured he feels by the voices, she is still able to get his full attention. And as they slowly dive deeper and deeper into each other, her smell and softness and her taste begin to overwhelm him until there is nothing but her. Nothing but what they are doing to each other with kisses, caresses, whispers and sighs.
Maybe for this night at least, he will be able to keep the voices away again.